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Healing

A Little Older

It’s been awhile since my last post. And by awhile, I mean about nine months. At least I know now that I’m a little older and a little wiser than I was those nine months ago. God has surprised me in ways I didn’t think He would surprise me until I became the crazy cat lady down the street. Okay, so never. I really believed I was ruined for all, but somehow He surprised me. Came through with a man that treats me as though I am the most precious of gems. Things have changed drastically in my life, even just in the past few months. Landon is my best friend and I couldn’t ask for a more loving boyfriend.

“To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.” ~ Anna Louise Strong

On this (American) Thanksgiving weekend, I am thankful for four things. I am thankful that God provided me with a man whose heart, in my eyes, must be pure gold. I am thankful to have finally found a job that will help me save and provide me with the experience I am looking for. Third, I am thankful for my family whom I did not always listen to but have always had my best interests in mind. And fourth, I am thankful for my girlfriends who have never stopped supporting me no matter how truly awful my decision-making skills became.

I love you!

Here’s to learning

I am fully convinced that the stories in my heart would make the most gut-wrenching novel, or the most repetitive novel ever. One where the reader throws the book aside because the main character is so dang stupid. Like the horror movie where the girl KEEPS walking down dark alleys. Stupid girl, you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into.

Here are the songs on my heart this week:
Rilo – Go Ahead
Weepies – Orbiting
Stars – Life Effect

Projects

I’ve begun the countdown to freedom. Graduation. A year early. Well shit. What am I going to do? Here’s my mental list translated as coherently as it will ever be.

1. Read some books for fun – fiction for once, I think. My brain needs a break from reality, non-fiction and research articles about how messed up we are.

2. Learn how to crochet a nice, slouchy hat. I hate that I buy all mine at cheap accessory places like Forever 21. I want to learn how to make them on my own.

3. Come up with some patterns so I can sew owl pillows (Weird, I know). But my best friend bought me this adorable owl pillow from Digs on Holly and Commercial in Downtown Bellingham. It looks something like this. The one Cat got me from Digs is just two different fabrics; patterned on the back and dark denim on the front. And then an embroidered owl face and body. Easy peezy.

4. Start journaling again. I used to journal everyday, for years. I used to have quite creative writing mind. I’d like to exercise that guy again.

5. Translate some new songs onto the piano. And play. And sing. And be free.

6. Start thinking of more creative ways to express myself and care for myself than shopping. Seriously. My credit cards are going on hiatus. The only exceptions are gas and coffee.

7. Write some love letters.

Take a listen. This will be my song on repeat for the week.

So about a month ago, I went to a concert at Western with some friends from school. I had no idea what kind of music it was, I’ve just been saying yes to every social event as a means of procrastinating. (Which is also what I am doing right now by writing this rather than a paper). Anyways, he goes by The Magician, he plays the organ and sings and his music makes my heart so, sooooo happy. Click here to have a listen.

Life has been so hectic lately. Graduation is in exactly one month, I have two more weeks of classes and then a week of exams. This doesn’t seem like long at all, which is probably why I am overwhelmed by my workload these next three weeks. On Monday alone, I have 17 pages of papers due, an exam for a geography class I have not been so stellar at, and a ten minute presentation on the results of thesis, which I have yet to actually look at.
As for plans apres school, I have committed another summer to FW. I will be heading up the ESA this summer, playing with the ildren and teachin em how to glue stuff together in a pretty way. I can’t wait to start planning and demoing projects and crafting new things to be introduced this summer. I’ve been throwing around the idea of Grad School and figuring out what timeline that will be on. I just can’t wait to start working with women and doing counseling practicums that will challenge me and shape my therapeutic orientation. So excited for the future. I just don’t know if these next few weeks are going to kill me or not.

My Countdowns

My Last Class – 13 days
My Last Exam – 22 days
LA to visit Kel – 51 days
The Wedding – 72 days (ah!)

Road to Freedom

“Healing is not a straight line. You must expect setbacks and regressions. Don’t say to yourself, ‘All is lost. I have to start all over again.’ This is not true. What you have gained, you have gained…But try to think of these regressions instead as being pulled off the road for a while. When your return to the road, you return to the place where you left it, not to where you started” (Nouwen).

I need to see this….